now i’ve known this girl for about 3 years. so i guess we’re comfortable enough for me to ask.

she kinda ignored the question.
then she goes “i just do the regular ‘reassure that it feels good’ routine.

so basically she goes “does that feel good? how does that feel? how about this? you want that? then pound it. let’s do this. and i’ll trade one of these for that. do you have change for this? knock knock…”

i don’t know if i could have sex with someone that employs pronouns during “dirty talk”.

not that i’d have sex with her because she’s like 4 foot 11 and skinny and i’d split her in half.

and if she doesn’t curse how much of an asshole must i be if i was the only one cursing while fucking. while she’s mumbling and fighting for new ways to say “fuck my pussy/ass/face”. it’s probably like raping tinkerbell.

but there’s no such thing as raping tinkerbell:

a) she doesn’t exist.
b) a normal sized penis will literally make her explode.
c) tinkerbell is a whore anyway. more than likely she’s asking for it. bitch has wings, she coulda used em. now look at her…exploded all over my dick. and there’s a wing stuck to my chest.

since not a lotta gamers check out wordpress for video games shit, i moved more of my video game oriented stuff to destructoid’s c blogs.

so holler at it.

people think i forgot all about this blog. well. lemme update you all:

- nothing is really happening.
- work is the same.
- i’m STILL playing gta4 and mgs4.
- madden 09 just released and i enjoy it.
- hi tina.
- me and some friends started a podcast which we’re really not updating because we’re always busy. – the big ass storm from a few weeks ago knocked the power out for almost 2 days. but when the power came back on i realized that my dsl modem was busted up (rip speedstream 5360).
- found an old quest dsl modem for like 20 bucks on ebay. (mental note: give great feedback when i get a chance)
- i’m actually supposed to be at work today. but i call off for some personal reasons.
- rip bernie mac, issac hayes, george carlin, george gick, skip caray, estelle getty, ronnie matthews, UGA VI and kermit love.
- ps3 updates are a bitch.

iont really know what the deal is but flickr deleted my account for some reason and i don’t even get a reason.

so. this friday i’m buying a web domain and i’m uploading my shit to that since flickr wants to be a homo.

so. there.

i’ll brb.

bye flickr.

because i know a majority of the reader(s) of this blog know the whole plot twist. i’ll jump right into it: who’s the blonde floozy?

when zone of the enders released (which i must say was a very well made game…just kinda repetitive. i never knew destroying buildings with a flying mecha would end up boring after awhile, gundam be damned) a majority of the nerd public bought it for one reason: MGS2 DEMO.

the demo contained part of the tanker mission where snake has to infiltrate a ship containing metal gear ray, a new prototype of metal gear. but of course, them damned russians infiltrate the ship first and take it over. you sneak through and dispatch of the soldiers (if you choose) and the demo ended with a boss fight with pregnant girl with boy hair, olga gurlokovich.

you sit and wonder why i didn’t ponder over the new game mechanics and the rest of the bullshit? well i’m going to tell you. matter of fact, i might spend the rest of this blog entry discussing it.

when the game released, you got to finish the rest of the tanker mission. during then, you did everything from hiding in lockers, smooching centerfolds, and doing the new tuck and roll mechanic. there was even a well written part where you had to hide and sneak past hundreds of soldiers during a briefing given by general scott dolph (who is voiced by a wonderful kevin michael richardson).

then guess who pops the fuck up. good ol ocelot. now by this time, you might wonder “how the hell does anybody even trust ocelot?” wouldn’t you think after all the toes he’s stepped on, someone would raise a flag and have him taken out? nope. that’s bad videogame storytelling. also ocelot is probably one of the baddest ass characters in the whole MGS canon.

anyway. ocelot reveals himself with liquid’s arm. ocelot was like “aaah i lost an arm…oooh. liquids dead. i might as well take this” and…took his arm and had it grafted onto his bloody stump which grey fox chopped off on shadow moses island. and guess what happens? LIQUID TAKES OVER HIS BODY. it’s the weirdest shit ever but you have to understand. in the last mission, you fought a 300 lb inuit with a chaingun twice the size of his body and had pet ravens. so…suspension of belief is needed here. ocelot goes as far as has liquid’s arrogance and accent. even his body language has changed.

so ocelot double crosses dolph, kills him and sinks the tanker. he escapes with metal gear ray and snake is presumed dead.

spoiler al…fuck it.

imagine the rumble across the internet. the shrill high pitched scream of a million geeks when they found out that *gasp*.

you don’t play as snake for the rest of the game.

raiden (the willowy young masturbator in the main photo) is a new operative in the NEW AND IMPROVED FOXHOUND. this whole part of the game almost didn’t seem like metal gear solid at first until you realized that *gasp*

SNAKE ISN’T DEAD.

kojima himself explained the reason behind replacing the main character with such a…beautiful man. basically he wanted to develop solid snake’s character from a third person perspective rather than experiencing the forecoming mindfucks as snake. being that snake isn’t even IN FOXHOUND anymore further solidifies that fact. the second he senses a mindfuck you think snake would stand for that again? no. he’d probably dive in that ocean while muttering “fuck big shell. fuck that fat guy with the skates. fuck solidus. fuck this shit.” and go home to smoke cigarettes.

looking back, raiden was pretty instrumental in making solid snake such a legendary character in the eyes of the gamer. when you first encounter “snake” he takes the form of iroquois pliskin a navy SEAL operative. further throughout the game (and you really see it coming) you find out that *gasp*

that motherfucker is snake.

when the events of the game transpire, and about 3/4ths throughout the game, you realize that “yeah this is raiden’s game”. it’d be cool to see snake go against those 25 metal gear rays or fight solidus but it wouldn’t have the same impact. snake had his own agenda, which was stop those metal gears. solidus was raiden’s catch. especially after seeing raiden naked, you might as well play through the rest of the game as him. he’s earned it.

**as of this point, MGS4 has released and everybody is too busy with the game to even read this so i’ll end it here for right now. i wanted to get into MGS 3 and volgin being the most dangerous gay man ever committed to dvdrom but forget it. i hope you all enjoy the game and i’ll be back to update you on my progress. if there is any. seems like my job didn’t order the game for retail so i might have to wait another week to play it. if anything i might just hit up gamestop and pick it up myself. no spoilers please. for right now, enjoy an upcoming series of entries based around my top three games for each major system**

thanks for reading, bitches.

if you’re reading this: keep reading after this…

if you receive an email from gametrailers or gamefaqs members, DON’T READ THE SUBJECT LINE.

spoilers abound.

i JUST got this info from the neogaf boards and hopefully shit will die down but a bunch of dickfaced motherless cunts know spoilers and are sending them to people. if you check your email like i do, do a filter to filter out gametrailers or gamefaqs members. send them to the trash if you have to.

but a few people already have it (including a friend of a friend and he’s going to see if he can confirm) and playing it. and for some reason people have already finished it. which is total shit.

but as with most internet fucktards. this might be all bullshit.
but i thought i’d tell you in the 10% chance that this is accurate.

UPDATE: CLICK AT YOUR OWN RISK. HERE’S THE NEOGAF THREAD.
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=11463455&postcount=4783

from what some posters at gamespot say, he’s a credible poster.
pics of the game itself including the booklet and disk as well as some other stuff that comes in it.
further down someone has a whole bundle from the mother of all fuckups when it comes to breaking release dates: walmart.

metal gear solid was released in japan on september 3rd, 1998. north american gamers had to wait 6 weeks later until they were able to play mgs. between those two dates, i bought every video game magazine that had “metal”, “gear” and “solid” somewhere in an article somewhere, just to read reviews. after reading everything from diehard gamefan to playstation magazine, i felt like i was ready for the challenge.

the morning of october 21st, 1998, while baseball fans were preparing to watch the yankees sweep the san diego padres to win the world series, a small section of video gamers went into their local video game stores to purchase metal gear solid. when i went to eb games in chesterfield towne center @ 11am while i was supposed to be working, you’d see one nerdy kid after another walk into the store. another one would walk out with a wide smile with the little white bag that eb games was famous for. inside was a cd case with a white cover on it. the only thing that was written on the front of the case was “tactical espionage action” in small white lettering. below it in bolder more stylized red foil lettering was “metal gear solid”.

i purchased mine and said “fuck the world series” and planned to spend the whole night playing the game. i had to be at work the next day to do a service call at someone’s house but “fuck it”.

everybody that played video games was playing it. all of my friends owned it and in between key moments in the game, we’d call each other up at ungodly times at night and talk about how great the intro was and how cinematic it seemed.

the release of mgs wasn’t only a critical and commercial success almost instantly, it marked a critical milestone in the realm of gameplay: seamless cinematic cutscenes. kojima’s first love was art and illustration but he discovered how much he wanted to become a film director. with each of these cutscenes, there was a way to tell a story without just reading text on a screen and pressing X or A in order to read more text. you read body language, music swelled and built with the action and more importantly, it blended the suspense of a movie with the action of your way above average video game.

the intro of mgs starts when solid snake is shot out of a submersible towards shadow moses island, where a group of terrorists, known as FOXHOUND (snake’s former unit) takes control of metal gear to use as a bargaining chip to receive the remains of the legendary soldier, BIG BOSS. during this cinema, you notice how much of the playstation’s power is used for camera angles, lighting, water effects and even opening credits. while snake swims to the surface to the scene fades out and the title screen shows up, almost jabbing you to let you know that you’re still playing a game:

when you first start playing, you notice that even while you sneak into the dock area, opening credits still roll, making the game experience seem more like a movie. as with all previous mgs games, you have the opportunity to either dispose of the guards in the area, or just let them go as you sneak around corners and memorize patrol patterns in order to make it to the elevator, located north of you.

to help you not get caught and receive a premature game over screen, you have the soliton radar. the radar is helpful in that it gives you the whole area that you’re located in in the top right hand corner of your screen. which is more helpful is that the soliton even notes guards in your area, as well as a cone, dictating the line of sight of a particular guard.

if you do get caught however, you get to see the new techniques at the guards disposal, as well as snake’s disposal. snake is not limited to just the one punch death as he previously employed. now he has a punch kick combo which is used to incapacitate enemies until he has a chance to find concealment. also he has a judo flip he can use to put them down as well, which came in handy when you were running and needed a quick getaway.

the guards have their own tricks as well. if snake is caught within the line of sight of a guard, an alert mode is triggered. when in alert mode, the guards attack you and chase you until you hide. when you hide, you’re in “evasion mode”. evasion mode means you’re concealed but you still have to stay that way until you’re back into infiltration mode, which is the mode you want to be in unless you like bullets in your face.

instead of just creeping around like the previous versions of metal gear (with the exception of mg2: solid snake) you can hide under objects, hug walls, and even make noise to distract enemies. if you were in alert mode for too long, you were most likely going to die. this promoted a less violent approach if you wanted to. you can even play through the whole game without being caught at all unless the game is scripted to in order to trigger a cutscene.

another way mgs carried the story along was with the codec system. as with all other metal gear games, the codec is a necessity during snake’s mission. to make the codec an integral part of the gameplay, you had a support team at your disposal:

- colonel roy campbell, snake’s commanding officer gave you mission briefings and advice during combat.
- mei ling, the creator of the soliton radar and your visual and data processing specialist. she saves your game as well as gives you sage advice in the form of useless chinese proverbs.
- natasha romanenko, provides weapon and item tips if you needed them.
- naomi miller, the medical officer
- master miller, former drill instructor and survival coach. he’s very knowledgeable about the mission at hand.

as you go throughout your mission as snake, you encounter a few allies along the way. one major ally is meryl silverburgh, who you’ll discover is roy campbell’s niece. she is a rookie soldier who didn’t join in the revolt that FOXHOUND started since they’ve gone rogue. the addition of this character was a welcome one to gamers around. aside from some of the annoying characteristics (why’d she talk about herself so much? psssh women.) she gave snake a sidekick to drive the story and dialogue as you progressed throughout this mission.

you also meet dr hal emmerich. otacon (because of his fondness of anime) as he likes to be called, works for ARMSTECH, the company that designed metal gear rex. after hearing that metal gear rex is going to be used to launch a nuclear warhead, he accompanies you on the mission to assist you over the codec. when you meet him is sort of a historical event, however. most people wouldn’t realize it but it is history:

when meryl tasks snake with finding otacon, he ventures to the labs where he works. the hallway to the lab is covered in blood and the bodies of dead and/or mutilated soldiers. as snake rounds the corner, he sees (or doesn’t see) a ninja that has adapted a cloaking technology similar to predator. when snake sees the ninja completely sword fuck his last enemy he follows him into the lab where he has cornered otacon. otacon is cowering in a corner as the ninja walks slowly toward him, with his sword in hand. then one of the best things happens in video game history (the 0:18 mark):

btw. this isn’t the metal gear solid for psone. this is the gamecube version with better graphics and redone cutscenes.

aside from mgs for psone being a turning point in story driven gameplay and gameplay in general, it also introduced fleshed out boss characters. the members of FOXHOUND seemed to be a pretty normal bunch (sarcasm off). aside from looking like members of an industrial synth electro punk group, they all had specific specialties to be used to keep solid snake from preventing the nuclear attack.

liquid snake- the leader of the rogue team and snake’s genetic twin.
revolver ocelot- accomplished gunman and interrogation specialist.
vulcan raven- a gargantuan inuit soldier who has a FUCKING CHAINGUN on him at all times and was an employee of BIG BOSS in outer heaven.
sniper wolf- the first female enemy in the metal gear series. is able to sit for days to kill her prey. aside from being a worthy adversary, she is pretty much a player. she actually puts it on otacon so hard that he cries to snake not to kill her. snake encounters her twice through the game.
decoy octopus- specializing in impersonation, he is able to mimic any person he can get his hands on, down to the dna. in an unorthodox fashion, this is the first time there has been a boss character that dies without you fighting him. also he’s the only character you don’t see in his true form.

if you’ve already played mgs, you maybe wondering why i left off psycho mantis. well. every gamer has to do it. so i’ll follow and do it as well:

PSYCHO MANTIS

psycho mantis is the psychic expert of FOXHOUND. why FOXHOUND needs a psychic expert is beyond me but it sounds cool. he uses psychokinesis and telekinesis as his special abilities. your first encounter is near the beginning of infiltrating the main base and he floats before you while babbling some cool shit about “death” and i think “ashton kutcher” but i maybe wrong. you encounter him again when he takes control of meryl, which is probably the same as getting meryl drunk because she gets ALL ON SNAKE’S DICK, FAM. she coos and flirts and i think she touched his swimsuit area at one point.

after snake punches the living shit out of meryl (i can’t front, it was kinda fun to do), mantis reveals himself before him. after a small talk, mantis demonstrates his psychic ablilities to snake. what happened next was something i’ve never seen in a game:

if you had a memory card with previous konami saves in it, mantis would read the data and tell you what games you liked to play. also he demonstrates his ability by telling you to put your controller on the floor. when you do so, he makes the controller move by initiating the dual shock controller’s motors, making it shake. BUT if you didn’t have a dual shock controller, you just sat there and stared at it like an idiot as it was sitting on the floor in front of you.

during the fight however, the psychic brainfucks didn’t cease. during the fight, the screen would black out and only the word “HIDEO” would be seen in the corner of the screen in green writing as if your television was screwing up on you. you would fight psycho mantis for about 30 minutes until you realized that none of your weapons were hitting him. while psycho mantis was reading your mind and could tell your moves before you did them, you had to think. what’s the best way to circumvent this? nothing is working. you used guns, you tried to fight him hand to hand. you dodged that fucking furniture he threw at you to no avail.

nothing worked until. your friend told you that you had to switch your controller from port 1 to port 2 in order for him to not predict your moves.

best boss battle ever.

among the boss battles throughout included vulcan raven in a tank, a great hind d helicopter battle on top of an antenna with liquid at the controls and the two sniper wolf battles. then you encounter metal gear rex.

when you first see metal gear rex in it’s glory, you see how huge it is in scale. you enter that bay where it’s being kept and the camera angle is pointing up towards it as if you were right there with snake.

but of course because it’s snake, that intimidating hunk of metal with a maniac liquid at the controls was nothing to him.

after the battle, snake and meryl (or otacon, depending on a crucial part of the game…hint: just keep tapping. and don’t use turbo!) escape the base in a jeep while liquid follows, leading to an epic chase scene through the tunnel leading out in the middle of the alaskan tundra.

liquid dies of an uhhhh…”headache” and snake and meryl (or otacon…but hopefully not otacon because it looks really gay) ride off on a snowmobile into the sunset.

after the game, i still played it multiple times to see what new ways i can complete the game. i did a whole game without getting caught. i let otacon die. i let meryl die. i smoked cigarettes the whole time. i got infinite ammo and a tuxedo. i played the game numerous times after and it didn’t get stale not once.

metal gear solid went on to ship over 6 million copies worldwide. every game magazine gave it near perfect reviews. it was official: konami had brought it’s franchise back. even the mainstream began to take note, with hideo kojima being one of newsweek’s “top ten people” and entertainment weekly saying that MGS “broke new ground”.

in a couple of days, i will be back here to talk about who’s the real snake, retarded plot devices and OMGZ who’s that floozy with the hair?

thanks for reading.

three years ago, i had a friend over who thought my place was the perfect study hall. she was writing an outline about criminal justice stuff (apparently you can’t stab people. s’all i learned). i was playing metal gear solid 3, which had JUST released 3 or 4 days prior. since i had been a metal gear veteran since i was 8 or 9, i can get through most of the solid series without killing guards. as i’m sneaking through the soviet jungle she stops me: “why aren’t you killing those guys?”

she’s saying this as she looks up from her book and peers over her check cashing window sized glasses.

“well, the point of the game is to NOT get caught. you really don’t have to kill anyone in this game.” i said as i paused the game and looked up at her.

“that’s the most retarded shit i’ve ever heard in my life” she replied. she wasn’t much of a gamer outside of pong or bejeweled. i remember she had a thing for tekken because the fighting system is so simple, you can beat someone by banging on buttons like a monkey without a central nervous system. i quickly got into defensive metal gear solid fag mode.

“you think it’s retarded because you’ve never played it. and you don’t know the history of metal gear!” it sounded so gay and geeky i think i said it with a lisp.

she continued her studies, i continued spending 45 minutes trying to kill the end. after she fell asleep, and i finally defeated the end. i turned off the ps2 and watched a little tv. it just so happen double impact was on one of those random channels that show action movies at 1 in the morning. then i thought “you know what? NOT killing people in a video game is pretty fucking retarded”.

generally in most action gaming situations, you have a central objective: kill every enemy that crosses your path. grab powerups or more ammo to kill more enemies. then continue killing enemies.

and that formula has worked pretty successfully for video games. that’s the POINT of most video games. to shoot stuff. and the stuff turns into power ups or points. there was no real logic to it. final fight had you eating turkey legs off of the streets of metro city without blinking an eye. you really didn’t have to analyze that much in video games.

then some kid named hideo kojima (who shares a birthday with moi: august 24th) came to konami and released a game that not only challenged that ‘kill em and turn em into power ups’ mentality when it came to games. he challenged the player as well. that game became “penguin adventure” for the MSX game console.

no but really, after that he released metal gear.

metal gear is set in the south african state of outer heaven, a military stronghold state run by a legendary mercenary. you are SNAKE, a new operative of FOXHOUND and your mission is to infiltrate the stronghold, rescue a previous operative by the name of GRAY FOX and carry out his mission, which is to destroy a walking bipedal tank by the name of metal gear.

the most interesting thing about the story (aside from the bipedal tank being called…*gasp* metal…GEAR?!) is the mission. infiltrate. not kill or assassinate. but infiltrate. and 90% of the game, you will be infiltrating outer heaven. the first enemy you come upon is a guard who exclaims “I’M FEELING ASLEEP” (it’s a japanese to english port, sue us) and therefore, falls asleep. you have a choice whether to stroll past him or punch the shit out of the guy. sure punching the shit out of a person while they are sleep sounds like a funtime at the frat house to me. but your mission is to infiltrate.

what kills me about the first metal gear is that when i was 8 years old, i didn’t care about reading the instruction manual. just tell me what button is the kill button. and i’ll mash that kill button until my thumbs bleed. and i always went out of my way to punch the shit out of guards just because i could. i also realized that i wasn’t living that long using my preferred approach. i didn’t realize until after christmas (when i got the game) when i went to my friend’s house for his birthday party and saw him so far in the game. i asked him how’d he get so far. he looks back and says “i’ve been sneaking”

sneaking? sneaking?! SNEAKING?! in a video game? in contra aliens attack the world and you send two shirtless commandos do no nothing but shoot the shit out of them. rush n attack you literally…rush and attack the shit out of people. you’re supposed to shoot the shit out of people because it’s the american way. we’ve been doing it for years and it’s worked pretty well for us so far. but SNEAKING?

i took the advice of my friend “you have to sneak everywhere” and went home to play it. i was surprised how far i had gone by just not killing people. eventually i got to the twin gunners and got destroyed because i thought i could sneak past them too.

as i began to traverse through the story of espionage and murder and double crosses. i didn’t notice it but this was the first time i’d seen a game with such a sprawling storyline. the story takes place through codec conversations between you and your multiple contacts. you rescue a hostage and they tell you info that can help you during your travels. when you finally watch that outer heaven explode, you feel accomplished. you went against all odds and won. everyone that was holding you back, including your commanding officer, couldn’t stop you.

then you continue on with your next mission. metal gear 2: solid snake was commissioned by konami without kojima’s consent. the game did release to great reviews and still kept the sneaking gameplay with the addition to a few new toys such as robotic mice and three different types of rations.

note: what kinda did bother me is that the game is set in 1999, which was the end of the cold war. the END of the cold war? kinda late there, don’t you think?

MG2:SS didn’t get a release in the united states until 2005 with the release of metal gear subsistence. instead we received snakes revenge, which infuriated the metal gear fan public mainly because the story itself wasn’t attributed to metal gear canon. also the game forced you to actually kill people because they added these retarded side scrolling missions which broke the gameplay up and reduced metal gear to rush n attack. it wasn’t metal gear. it was so unmetal gear, that even the instruction manual was fucked all to hell.

the manual had the distinction of being one of the few that conflicted the plot in the actual game by miles. instead of big boss (who is actually the villain of snakes revenge. spoiler warning, btw) the main villain is named higharolla kockamamie. which is a play on ayatollah khomeini. even metal gear wasn’t named metal gear but the “ultra sheik nuclear attack tank”. that’s like calling a washing machine the “crazy mother’s box that cleans clothes better than hands machine”. across the country, we wasted our money (and time) on this game and to find out that the story didn’t even stick to metal gear mythos was the double punch to the groin.

the two separate sequels to the original metal gear were met with positive reviews. one accepted by fans of the MSX2 version. one not accepted by US gamers. a few years later, metal gear 3 was planned for release on the 3D0 but when the console failed it was halted and moved to the playstation for development.

along with the conceptual artwork by yoji shinkawa and support of a phalanx of developers at konami, kojima used every resource to make the game as realistic as possible. from SWAT teams doing demonstration of vehicles and explosives to individually designing each desk, metal gear 3 was to be the best playstation game ever.

the name was changed to metal gear solid, due to them creating a new story for snake. the first two MSX games weren’t really known about worldwide but fans were familiar with snake. also considering the game is in 3d using polygons and texture mapping, the game looked more solid, hence the name.

in 1997, i remember dialing up into my 56k modem because i had just heard that a new video dropped, showing demo footage of the new metal gear solid, shown at E3. it’s amazing that it took me an hour to download this 11 years ago:

after fueling the hype machine for 2 years about the newest current gen title which was destined to be the best game ever made for the playstation, metal gear solid finally releases with critical and commercial acclaim.

come back through in a couple of days for part 2 of this terribly written metal gear solid retrospective when i blog about gaming’s first onscreen pissing of the pants, girlsgirlsgirls, raiden’s raging vagina and breaking down fourth walls.

so today in free shit news.

mcdonalds is giving away that new chicken biscuit with the purchase of a drink. i liked it. nice and juicy. almost as good as chik fil a. i had the other sandwich the other day and i was impressed. afterwards, i walked around my neighborhood and fed some pigeons the rest of my biscuit. it was a craze. i had my camera with me but i stopped at the grocery store so i didn’t have free hands available.

i seriously don’t know what this building is. i’ve been living down the block from it for the past 2 years. i think they do wholesaling? i know there’s a lotta indians around there and they come out with vans full of shit. there is a sign but i never bother to read it when i walk past it. then when i’m not near it i go “wtf is in that building”. they put a new coat of FUCKING CHALK YELLOW PAINT on the awning or whatever that is up there. it caught my eye after not noticing the building even having an awning until now because of that fuckin paint. jesus it almost hurt my eyes. that’s how bright it is. they JUST did it too because if you check out the high res version of this shot you see a line of yellow paint going all the way up the sidewalk.

okay i didn’t take this picture today but it’s too debonair to not be shown off. FOH jose. F.O.H.

and i didn’t take this one today but it’s still worth posting. me and jane were in wicker park and i’m walking down the street. then i catch these human turds dressed like rednecks out of some weird appalachian themed comedy sketch. i’m talking mustache, trucker hats, flannel, cut off shorts. in NO civilization should cut off shorts be worn by men. i don’t care if you do say “well, men wore robes in rome and sandals in greece and blah blah blah” but fuck you. those guys would lop your head off if you didn’t put in your part of the money for the wine. those guys didn’t even try. they all just dressed alike…looking like cum. ugh.

and in other news. something i watched several times since i first saw it. keith olbermann being as real as any rapper could ever be (well the ones out these days) as seething as any right wing fox anchor and more informed than any other anchor i’ve seen on television these days.

i really don’t want to spoil the title so i won’t but. watch all 10 minutes of this. he kills it