part 3: third in the series: is his arm really making him do that?

because i know a majority of the reader(s) of this blog know the whole plot twist. i’ll jump right into it: who’s the blonde floozy?

when zone of the enders released (which i must say was a very well made game…just kinda repetitive. i never knew destroying buildings with a flying mecha would end up boring after awhile, gundam be damned) a majority of the nerd public bought it for one reason: MGS2 DEMO.

the demo contained part of the tanker mission where snake has to infiltrate a ship containing metal gear ray, a new prototype of metal gear. but of course, them damned russians infiltrate the ship first and take it over. you sneak through and dispatch of the soldiers (if you choose) and the demo ended with a boss fight with pregnant girl with boy hair, olga gurlokovich.

you sit and wonder why i didn’t ponder over the new game mechanics and the rest of the bullshit? well i’m going to tell you. matter of fact, i might spend the rest of this blog entry discussing it.

when the game released, you got to finish the rest of the tanker mission. during then, you did everything from hiding in lockers, smooching centerfolds, and doing the new tuck and roll mechanic. there was even a well written part where you had to hide and sneak past hundreds of soldiers during a briefing given by general scott dolph (who is voiced by a wonderful kevin michael richardson).

then guess who pops the fuck up. good ol ocelot. now by this time, you might wonder “how the hell does anybody even trust ocelot?” wouldn’t you think after all the toes he’s stepped on, someone would raise a flag and have him taken out? nope. that’s bad videogame storytelling. also ocelot is probably one of the baddest ass characters in the whole MGS canon.

anyway. ocelot reveals himself with liquid’s arm. ocelot was like “aaah i lost an arm…oooh. liquids dead. i might as well take this” and…took his arm and had it grafted onto his bloody stump which grey fox chopped off on shadow moses island. and guess what happens? LIQUID TAKES OVER HIS BODY. it’s the weirdest shit ever but you have to understand. in the last mission, you fought a 300 lb inuit with a chaingun twice the size of his body and had pet ravens. so…suspension of belief is needed here. ocelot goes as far as has liquid’s arrogance and accent. even his body language has changed.

so ocelot double crosses dolph, kills him and sinks the tanker. he escapes with metal gear ray and snake is presumed dead.

spoiler al…fuck it.

imagine the rumble across the internet. the shrill high pitched scream of a million geeks when they found out that *gasp*.

you don’t play as snake for the rest of the game.

raiden (the willowy young masturbator in the main photo) is a new operative in the NEW AND IMPROVED FOXHOUND. this whole part of the game almost didn’t seem like metal gear solid at first until you realized that *gasp*

SNAKE ISN’T DEAD.

kojima himself explained the reason behind replacing the main character with such a…beautiful man. basically he wanted to develop solid snake’s character from a third person perspective rather than experiencing the forecoming mindfucks as snake. being that snake isn’t even IN FOXHOUND anymore further solidifies that fact. the second he senses a mindfuck you think snake would stand for that again? no. he’d probably dive in that ocean while muttering “fuck big shell. fuck that fat guy with the skates. fuck solidus. fuck this shit.” and go home to smoke cigarettes.

looking back, raiden was pretty instrumental in making solid snake such a legendary character in the eyes of the gamer. when you first encounter “snake” he takes the form of iroquois pliskin a navy SEAL operative. further throughout the game (and you really see it coming) you find out that *gasp*

that motherfucker is snake.

when the events of the game transpire, and about 3/4ths throughout the game, you realize that “yeah this is raiden’s game”. it’d be cool to see snake go against those 25 metal gear rays or fight solidus but it wouldn’t have the same impact. snake had his own agenda, which was stop those metal gears. solidus was raiden’s catch. especially after seeing raiden naked, you might as well play through the rest of the game as him. he’s earned it.

**as of this point, MGS4 has released and everybody is too busy with the game to even read this so i’ll end it here for right now. i wanted to get into MGS 3 and volgin being the most dangerous gay man ever committed to dvdrom but forget it. i hope you all enjoy the game and i’ll be back to update you on my progress. if there is any. seems like my job didn’t order the game for retail so i might have to wait another week to play it. if anything i might just hit up gamestop and pick it up myself. no spoilers please. for right now, enjoy an upcoming series of entries based around my top three games for each major system**

thanks for reading, bitches.